Being Brave / by Patsy Kolesar

I've said before that I have a million fears. I am getting ready to leave my life for 2 months to do an artists residency in Holland. I leave in a week. I am full of fear.

Now that it is here, now that this is happening I think it's all a little nuts. I'm actually stepping away from my everyday routines to live in another country for two hopes that I will create new art.......this is hugely scary for someone who is scared of everything......I don't want to feel scared, I soooo want to be brave, but my instinct, my comfortable place is to go to fear.

Why is being brave so hard for some of us?

I look at the amazing people in my life. My mother, left her whole entire family in Australia, including a twin sister to move to Canada to be with my Dad. My friend Amy does a backpacking adventure on her own every year, my friend Julia has picked up her whole entire life a couple of times and started over in a new country. That's some freaking brave shit.

I want to be brave. I want to take risks. I want my art to take risks.

"I want to hear jazz with my eyes closed, and dig my toes into the sand dancing. I want to climb to the summit and yell and sleep under the stars. I want to laugh my head off and play marbles and sleep in and eat croissants in bed with butter and marmalade and spill coffee and wear lace and trip holding your hand because I am listening so closely." -Sabrina Ward Harrison

The next time you read this I will be writing it from Holland.......


Blue Path, Kukenoff Gardens, The Netherlands.